I’m really conflicted about “Big Mike”. On the one hand, he’s about the only person I would allow to sing “I’m Yours” whose name is not Jason Mraz. But my inner momma bear calls bullshit on not being present at your first child’s birth. Even as I try to reason with said inner voice, momma bear is ready to take him down. Also, I naturally distrust people with muscles bigger than my head. I'm not even going to talk about the douchey hat.
Dear Todrick: Please take out those creepy-ass contact lenses and leave them in the 2000s (and that’s a grace period, because they really went out in the 90s). There’s something wanky about him, too. No likey. But thank you for *not* singing “Man in the Mirror”. Love, me.
Casey James = a messy Ace Young. (also, apparently a porn star. Google Image search it yourself.) Long blonde hair isn’t usually my thing, but come on: he’s yummy. But please don’t sing Bubbly. Ever again. Actually, I’m going to recommend that for everyone, everywhere in the world. Stop singing it. Seriously!
Over here, we’ve got the girls: So, I really want to make this a world where we don’t talk about people’s appearances…but how can we not talk about Crystal Bowersox’s teeth. Girl, please slap on some Whitestrips and ease up on the coffee, cigs, or whatever’s causing that mess…cause it’s really distracting. But please don’t get a shiny makeover, because I dig the laid-back thing.
Can we talk about the Tori vs. Hailey thing? I loved the bit they showed where Tori was giving that tired piece of shit Katy Perry song the ska treatment. And I’m pretty sure that way back when Ellen said “she could get annoying”, she was definitely talking about Hailey, because as adorable as she may be, she did. Real quick.
Granted, I missed the last hour of the Tuesday show, but there were two chicks that I had NEVER seen before Wednesday’s show. I suppose they did not have a story that was exciting enough to share, but they even showcased Lilly’s sandwich artist career. How boring do you have to be to not get even 60 seconds of camera time, when they re-hash the same shizz over and over again and even feature Mary Powers for like, an entire episode. (“You’re punk rock!” ~ Avril “No. She’s not.”~ Punk Rock)
And we’re back to the all-boy/all-girl format. Looking forward to the cringe-worthy all-boy numbers. Let the cheese roll!