Be silly...be very silly!

One of the best things about being a kid is the lack of embarassment, self-awareness, or whatever you want to call it. Kids think they are the best at everything...dancing, singing, drawing. I can't ever remember a time when I didn't judge myself! I really wanted Benson to carry the self-esteem gene into his teenaged years.



One of his favourite TV shows...Bo on the Go. Bo is this little blue-haired girl that demands that the viewer to power up Bo by running, jumping, spinning your hands, etc. Benson is totally into it, until he sees me watching him, or sitting beside him participating... Then he says, "No mommy!" and gets embarassed. He's only TWO! How can he possibly be self-conscious?! It breaks my heart a little bit, because I never want him to feel embarassed or anything. I'm not sure why participating in this TV show invokes the same reaction as when I catch him pooping in his pants?!


So far, my solution has been to up the silliness factor in the house...running, dancing, and acting goofy. We are pretty silly up in the Robbins crib anyway, but I really, really want to celebrate my B's giant personality and I never want him to feel like he can't be himself.

I was a really good mom before I had kids: reinventing modern motherhood

Wow. I have read a lot of books about parenting in the past 2 years...wait - let me re-phrase that. I have started to read a lot of books about parenting, sometimes skipping ahead to the crucial parts (i.e., how to get your baby to sleep alone) and then being disappointed to learn that I've already screwed up ("Never nurse your baby to sleep." Dammit!); sometimes feeling like a failure just reading the "About the Author" and giving up.

I read this entire book in just two sittings - and I felt like it was finally a book written for me! A real person! (Note - I didn't say "mom"...)

I especially felt like the end wrapped it all up in a single thought - that we get so wrapped up in being/doing/providing the best for our kids that we don't realize that kids learn most from our actions:

"Our children are watching us. They're seeing our stress, our anxiety, how we
beat oursleves up. We're teaching them that good enough is not good enough.
We're showing them that anything less than perfect is not OK."

Although one of the tenets of the book is to resist recruitment to the Mommy Wars and stop all the judgement, I really loved the Dirty Little Secrets woven throughout...and I found the chapter on husbands/partners especially relevant.

Now go read it yourself...you can also check out the website at http://www.iwasareallygoodmom.com/

Nutty McNuts: Enemy Number One

Since eliciting so much concern with my latest Facebook status indicating my denial over the nut allergy, I thought I'd better explain...

I can't specifically recall ever giving him peanut or peanut butter, but I do know that he doesn't like it...so at some point he must have ingested some. Oatmeal with peanut butter used to be a favourite that I likely had to share. So much like the allergy to cats, I think this is a new thing.

His daycare provider gave him a peanut butter cookie and his lips and eyes immediately puffed up. The puffiness had subsided 10 minutes later when I got there but he still had an Angelina-sized upper lip. K was really beside herself with worry and couldn't believe how calm I was. I told her that I simply refuse to have a child with a nut allergy so this has to be some kind of one-off.

Bill took him to the pharmacy (all puffiness subsided by this time) and got him some Benadryl on the pharmacist's recommendation to lessen any symptoms. I suppose the next step will be to have him tested for this allergy. I just do NOT want to have to be that vigilant or worried - ALL THE TIME! Peanut allergies are so scary!!

At dinner, Bill told me that he is extremely allergic to walnuts. Which didn't make much sense to me since a) He has never mentioned this before; and b) Um, I put walnuts in a lot of my baking. (It's a superfood!) (Yes, I bake!!) But he says he swells up and gets hives so it's possible I've got a family with allergies.

So I'm optimistic that it's not a serious allergy; hopeful that I won't have to carry around a hypodermic needle everywhere I go...at least the nut allergy is more commonplace now so there are plenty of peanut-free foods, like Mars bars...(I'm sure there are others...)

Benson masters his colours...just about.

All righty, we've got it now! In order of emergence from his seemingly marble-filled mouth:


Wed? Check.
Blooo? Check.
Ga-weeeen? Check.
Yellow? Check! As of yesterday: Yallow. Booots?


We only now struggle with the colour orange. Because we usually have a bowl of oranges and apples in a bowl, he insists on calling the colour orange "apple". Which is cute to me, because I know the origin of this particular piece of toddler logic. But I did get a strange look of parental sympathy today at T-gym as he shouted out red, blue, APPLE!! No really, he's a genius. Your kid is eating her sock, so let's not judge.

Head Injuries 101

If you've got a toddler...you need to know about head injuries. Today I placed Benson down beside me in Mother Goose to stop his wiggling. He objected by executing a full body reverse head-butt to the windowsill behind him.

Not exactly a new move to us, he often backhead-butts me right in the chin. Fun with mummy's teeth! This time seemed to really sting though, he had the silent screams which he rarely ever has. I am grateful for some sign of pain reflex!

I didn't notice until 10 minutes later that the cut was bleeding (why does this always happen in PUBLIC)...so we had our snacks and I took him down to Clover Care. Dr. Wong-Ting (sp?) declared him okay and left me with the following, which I'm planning to tattoo down my arm:

" While no evidence of serious injury is found at this time, here are the SIGNS TO WATCH FOR within the next 48 hours:
1. Increased drowsiness
2. Difficulty in rousing the patient (patient should be awakened every 2 hours during the first night.)
3. Persistent vomiting.
4. Slowing of pulse rate.
5. Continued headache.
6. Stiffness of neck.
7. Bleeding or clear fluid dripping from ears or nose. {this gonna be a tough one.}
8. Weakness of facial muscles or either leg or either arm.
9. Development of convulsions (fits).
10. No Aspirin, ASA.
11. Plain Tylenol ONLY.
12. Change in pupil size, one compared to the other.

She did mention that # 12 was one of the most important and his eyes were the most beautiful she had ever seen. (well, she said they were "fine". the rest was written all over her face.)

No stitches required because his hair will cover the scar. "And I bet he won't be doing that again..." sigh. How many times have we heard THAT?!!

Two

Last night it was so very hot. Benson woke up crying, matted with sweat. Bill broke his "no babies in the bed" rule to calm our heated babe by laying him on his chest. It's a favourite position for them...for Bill, the classic excuse to nap (for the LOVE OF GOD, don't wake up the baby!). Benson is decreasingly cuddly these days, so we love to take full advantage. Every time they lay this way, it brings to mind how much he has grown. It really is unbelievable.

Benson used to span from Bill's collarbone to the bottom of his ribcage. Then, to the belly button. Slowly but oh-so-quickly, he's grown nearly to the top of Bill's knees. (And Bill is a giant.) I watch videos from the first few days and it's incredible that that wobbly, skinny little creature has become this incredibly communicative strudy, skinny little toddler who learns in leaps and bounds and surprises and delights me every single day.

I remember in the beginning...I wanted to know him so badly! What parts of us would we pass along...who would he look like...would he love to dance or would he be introverted (no chance of that, though). I would watch him for hours to spot clues into the future.

Now that I know him, I struggle between wanting to know him even more, looking forward to his first non-parrotted "I love you" (not to mention pooping on the potty!) ... and wanting to stop time to just indulge in his sweet babyness before it slips away, since he stretches into childhood so quickly with every passing second.

Happy Birthday, baby.

Mommy Block

I can't wait until brain-to-blog is invented. I was kept up all night by a certain someone who had to punctuate each allergy-induced sneeze with a loud curse word and sometimes a smack on the bed. We really are the family that suffers together!

But I was laying there thinking of all the things I wanted to get ready for Benson's birthday partay along with all of my random thoughts I need to get out of my head and onto paper (er, screen?), ie: blog.

Buuuuuuuut when I get 30 seconds to do so I seem to surf around aimlessly and okay, let's be honest, spend way too much time on Facebook!

And now we're going to go outside and enjoy.

So when Benson is stressing me out in 15 years, I am not going to be able to look back on his teeny tiny years and all the feelings and dreams I had, and it's all Facebook / random July sun's fault. Darn it.

Family

After doing more reading of blogs and blogging of blogs than actual blogging, I'm getting a little itchy to blog. I'm beginning to feel more positive about the future, and living content in the moment, as opposed to uber-planning the next 40 years. Every so often during the car hunt we would hit that bump of what car we'll need when the first lease runs out (Bill says mini-van, I say, who knows?). But other than that I am not really thinking beyond my next weekend.

Of course me being...ME, I have to explore all these alternate futures. So I have imagined several different futures, and the one I am forcing myself to consider the most is having an only child in Benson. We're so lucky to have this little chunk of perfection, so it's not exactly a consolation prize. And he's such a social butterfly, he'll never be lonely.

But trying to imagine parenting a single-child family is like trying to put on my most favourite pre-baby outfit: It just doesn't fit...and it's just not me...or us.

It really came to light at Liam's 1st birthday party. Last time I held a babe, Benson was not too keen with the situation. So I was giving Devon (7 mo) some cuddles. Benson immediately came over and said "Hi baby! shaliru bush flagyl baby!" while pointing and grinning at the baby. He told me a story about the baby and shared his opinion on the "niii (nice) baby". All the while keeping a possessive hand on my shoulder, but still.

He was so sweet with Devon, that I allowed myself to go back and revisit my old plans for our life: Benson playing big brother to a few siblings...screaming and wrestling...but ultimately bonding with a niii baby, and growing up with a strong sense of family (and chaos).

So here's to great test results, good genes, and healthy futures. I'm pretty sure it will be terrifying, but in the end, so worth it. And watch out for the Robbins boys.

Night nights...plus

Benson's schedule is all askew, so we had a hard time going down for night-nights. He kept crawling out of the crib and landing with a thunk. So I lowered the side of the crib, at least if he climbs out he is less prone to injuring himself.

Finally he's all cried out, so I went in to check on him and put him back in his crib. Well he totally climbed back in his crib with Elmo and Dog, sleeping in his usual position. Too funny. I guess the side of the crib is staying down, it's easy enough for him to crawl in and out, and he won't roll out of bed.

It was just so funny, I gingerly opened the door, trying to make sure not to hit him (he usually crawls up and curls up behind the door when he climbs out of the crib), and there he was, right where I left him...

Turn it off BC

VANCOUVER/CKNW - The results from BC's "Turn It Off" day are in. BC Hydro says during peak hours between 7 and 9 p.m. yesterday, it recorded a savings of approximately 70 megawatts or 1.2 million incandescent light bulbs being turned off for the entire evening.

BC Hydro says if British Columbians continued to turn off unnecessary lights and appliances during those hours, the savings would provide enough electricity to power 8000 homes for an entire year.

I turned off everything all day. I even got out my coffee press to use instead of the coffee machine, but I realized that I had no idea how to use it...and it probably would defeat the purpose if I turned on the computer to Google instructions for it.

In exchange for my awesome unpluggedness, I allowed myself to watch Lost...after all, it was the second-to-last episode of the season and after being unplugged all day, my eyes needed to return to their regular box shape.

Oh, I also had the radio on in the morning. Benson and I have a dance partay every morning, and he's starting to develop an opinion. His opinion on my singing was expressed through a very Jen-like look of disgust and confusion. Now I know why Bill hates that face when I make it.

If changing names is so wonderful, why don't our husbands do it too?

Christy Clark » If changing names is so wonderful, why don’t our husbands do it too?

Christy was dead on in her column today. I always thought I'd keep my name when I got married, just like most of the marrieds I knew who were 5-10 years older. After all, being a Jennifer, I was basically defined by my last name, which is way less common than the 70s favourite that is my first.

When our parents generation got married, most of them only carried their maiden name for about 20 years, so they didn't get all that attached to it, I guess. Somehow those extra 5 years really made me reluctant to give it up.

But in getting married I dreamed of becoming a cohesive unit....the Robbins family...Mrs. Robbins...Mrs. William Robbins...etc...etc. And in the end it just seemed more harmonious to be The Robbins(es? I have never quite figured it out...). Since we planned to fill up the house with kids, I didn't want to be left out with a different name.

All in all, it just felt right...and more romantic...to become Team Robbins. As for him taking my name, well he just has the better name...and I wanted it. (Anyone who knows my ultra-conservative husband would probably guess how that would go down, anyway...)

BTW, I was so happy to have a more "common" name. Raywood is not all that common and is always somehow butchered (usually becomes Raymond.) Of course everyone's names get screwed up anyway...who would have thought Robbins would be so difficult. I'm back to simply spelling my name whenever I have to give it out. ("It's Robbins R-O-B-B-I-N-S")

My celebrity best friend - Jen Garner

PEOPLE's Most Beautiful in '07 - Jennifer Garner - Jennifer Garner : People.com

Here's the Jennifer Garner blurb. She looks so gorgeous in this picture too. It's like we're twins! (For those who don't understand my online humour, I am joking....)

The 35-year-old actress says 16-month-old Violet, her daughter with husband Ben Affleck, has changed the way the couple looks at themselves. "Ben and I like more things in ourselves that we now see reflected in Violet. To see my dimples in her makes me like my dimples because I share them with her."

Escape Artist

Why do I get so cocky?!

"I'm keeping Benson in his crib until he's 3!" says I. Well since the time change he hasn't been quite the happy sleeper he used to be. He cries when we put him down and he's waking in the night. It's bizarre, compared to what we're used to.

Last night...Bill and I were working on the computer and right after we put him down, Benson was crying in his crib and banging on the door.

Wait. Banging on the door. Um. Sure enough, we went in there and he was out of the crib. Figuring it was a one-off we put him back. Closed the door. There it was. The thump, followed by banging on the door.

He's quite the little athlete, performing a perfect dismount out the crib. Then to fall asleep on the floor.

I feel so bad for the little guy, I'm not sure what's so terrible about the bed. But it looks like we'll be cancelling our trip to the aquarium and headed to Ikea instead this weekend for a big boy bed...and I'll be completely child proofing his room (ie, removing EVERYTHING).

Wal-Mart (and why I can't shop there)

So we took Benson for his photos on Saturday. Yes, Saturday at the Langley Wal-Mart. Brave souls, indeed!

It took a while getting in, as the family before us had 3 little kids. I can't even imagine trying to organize that photo. We sat in the lobby watching the interesting procession of shoppers. I swear, every 4th person was on an oxygen tank. What is up with that?!

The pictures were flawless, it was a 5 minute process. Benson finds everything hilarious, so we had no trouble getting the shots. (I love playing Tyra ... "More neck! More neck!")

Then I told Bill we'd need to pop in "for just a few things". Basically I avoid the great big American evil companies, but every so often I can't resist. And I really need a new swim diaper for Benson or we are going to have an accident that's going to get us kicked out of the Y!

Bill immediately headed to the fishing section, and I couldn't find him...who knew that fishing was a "sport"?! I decided to see how much their leggings were, if I could find a cheap pair maybe I could try out the look? At least in the comfort of my own bathroom...I'd probably never have the cojones to try to wear them in public.

I found a pair strewn over a rack, my size, but they had that horrid lace at the bottom. I couldn't find any hanging on a rack. So I asked an employee. She said, "They should be in the women's section". Yeah okay, the women's section in Langley is about 3000 square feet. And I was on a timer, once Bill decided it was time to leave Wal-Mart, I would have to leave Wal-Mart. Immediately. I timidly asked, "any idea where, specifically?" since she was putting away clothes, I assumed she may have an idea. She simply glared at me and made a sweeping arm gesture somewhere toward the front of the store.

Well, I could always cut the lace off, I suppose.

Once I'd collected Bill and hidden my 80s treasure in the cart, we headed to the very back baby section. I found that they only carried Medium swim diapers and my little wee baby is by now clearly a large. Well, I think. The sizes are listed by pounds, and Benson's a little overdue for his 18-month checkup...

Anyhoo, I picked up a booster seat so that Benson can sit at the table like the civilized young babe that he is. Yay! No more picking old food out of that stupid high chair seat. From now on I'll get to pick it up directly off the floor! What a time-saver...since I'm picking up food directly from the floor, anyway.

While I was getting yet some MORE of the stupid sippy cups (and I wish The First Years would just sell packs of lids, or just cups, because I always have tons of one and none of the other)...I noticed the cutest little mini-tumblers, like the coffee cups mom & dad carry around. I thought it would be so great for B because he could use a l'il straw or use them to learn to sip from a big boy cup. AND they were on clearance, only $2.

Bill started making the face so we got into a bearable line-up. The cashier was about 16, well I think she worked there, she had no name tag or apron on, but she did share the same "I don't give a F" look on her face as the other employees as she scanned in the items.

Then the following conversation took place:

She: You can't buy this cup. It has no UPC code.

Me: Um, there's a price-tag, and it was on the shelf.

She (with great hardship): Do you want me to call someone to look it up?

Me (glancing at the man behind me, who was glaring at me with what can only be described as stifled murderous rage): If it's not too much trouble.

She: Well do you want to pay for all this stuff, or wait until I get a code for the cup.

Me: I'd sort of like to pay for it all together. How long will it take?

She: It's SATURDAY. I HAVE NO IDEA.

Me: Sure, I'll pay for this stuff.

Bill: Just leave the cups.

She: calls something on the phone.

Me: Those were the last 2 on the shelf.

She: What? SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. (on the phone): Yes, they're mini-thermoses.

Me: Actually, they were in the baby section. And they were the last 2.

She: What? SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. (on the phone, in an incredulous manner): She said they were in the BABY section. Yeah the sticker SAYS they are on clearance. (laughs) YES totally.

Me: And they were the last 2 on the shelf.

Benson: WAhhhhhhhhhh

Bill: I think we can live without the cups.

She: Well look, I am going to have to call a manager now. And it is a SATURDAY. So this could take a while.

Me: Fine. I'll leave the cups. (loudly, with much passive agression to Bill) They shouldn't be ON the shelf, with a PRICE TAG, if a customer can't BUY them.

She: (to someone picking up the returns): yes they go in the baby section with the cups.

So basically someone is going to do the same thing, all over again! Argh.

One thing is clear: Wal-Mart should definitely sell alcohol in bulk containers. And Xanax.

My Favourite Thing Today

Today was another snow day... I don't mind the extra long commute, but I can't take my sensitive-skinned little bean out in this. Not to mention the fact that he is just like mum - a cold blast of air and he shrieks in terror.

So with the predicted -18 windchill, I stayed in...did some work and trolled around MySpace (or as I call it - TimeSuck!!)...early on I convinced Nancy to come over with Caleb so that Benson didn't go completely bonkers.

My basement looks like a tornado hit it - yay, well that's the point. Because it's down there and I don't have to look at it! Woo hoo!

So my favourite thing today was hearing all Caleb's words! It is so adorable...he and Nancy are so in tune. Mostly, I was delighted to hear Caleb say "Benson" so clearly. It really is amazing how fast they become real live human beings!

I guess my least favourite thing was Benson throwing a golf ball at Caleb's head.